Consolidated Purpose

I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church.

I’ve always been told to do everything “as unto the Lord”.

I always thought that sounded a little like bull$%*@.

I’ve struggled specifically with that theme ever since I was old enough to really start to understand that I, as a human, was not doing everything “as unto the Lord”. We’re probably talking since eleven or twelve years old. Long enough for me to really start to ignore the fact that I wasn’t doing it.

I continued on, graduated high school, joined the navy, got out of the navy, got an engineering job, quit my engineering job, and here I am now. I skipped a few details.

It always bothered me when I worked for the war machine that the end result of my labor was death and destruction of enemy forces under the guise of protection of freedom and democracy (as if that exists anyway). And when I worked for that other place, it always bothered me that the end result of my labor was really just some more cash for stockholders.

This forced my brain into a constant three-way battle which resulted in depression, stress, low self-esteem, and yadda-yadda. You know the feeling when you just don’t quite get your purpose in life? The Good Angel became all the things I had been taught as a youngster in Church. The Bad Angel was of course all the naughty questions you weren’t supposed to ask– just go over there and press the “I believe” button why don’t ya- everything will be ok.

Sample Good Angel/Bad Angel interview with myself:

B.A. So how can I do this (i.e. kill people, buy shareholders and CEOs boats) “as unto the Lord”

G.A. Just go and be a light to all your coworkers. You can be an example of Jesus Christ to them.

B.A. While I’m killing people? Seriously? Are you smoking crack? Jesus didn’t kill people.

G.A. Yeah, but I mean, nobody’s perfect. Jesus didn’t really expect his followers to drop everything all at once; you still gotta go work for the man, you know?

B.A. No.

G.A. You still have to pay your bills, taxes, feed your family, and all that stuff. How can you do that if you’re not working for the man?

(Here’s where B.A. totally wins the argument, and G.A. goes home crying)

B.A. Jesus said not to worry about that stuff. He’ll take care of it. Lilies of the field and whatnot. Go suck an egg.

I always felt something missing because the work of my hands never quite aligned with the mission of God. To love people, to share with them, to save them. So now I’ve quit the things I was doing before in an effort to consolidate my purpose. (Sound of rubber meeting road)

I’ve started a couple of businesses that are desperately needed in my local community. Through them, I will be able to strengthen ties between neighbors, enrich individual lives, and give communities the opportunity to grow in positive ways that will hopefully trickle down even to the lowest criminal roaming our streets.

I have an occupation now that I can directly align, from top to bottom, with Christ’s teachings about how to treat others, how to care for them, how to communicate his love to them.

I have no idea where my next paycheck is coming from, or what it will look like when it arrives, but as He promised, God has already started to provide for my family. I know He will continue to do so.

Disclaimer: I don’t ever want to offend anyone. I know that there are those of you out there with “normal” jobs that are quite content with your place. That’s ok. I understand that my level of angst goes far beyond what most people in this world would ever be capable of experiencing. I hope that you will simply forgive me for offense, if any was taken. I always welcome discussion.